Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
by zokens
Summary: Katara convinces Zuko to go to the pumpkin patch and pick out a pumpkin with her. Featuring really awful Halloween puns


Katara leaned over her boyfriend, hugging him " please come with me to the pumpkin patch?" She begged, pressing her lips against the top of his head.

Zuko looked up at her, pausing the game on his x-box console " what for?"

" I want to pick out pumpkins and carve them. We can put them on our steps" she grinned, giving him an innocent, puppy dog look with her crystal blue eyes

" okay" he caved in after a moment.

She squealed and leaned down a little more, catching his lips with hers. " thank you" she whispered

He smiled and kissed her back gently " I'm only doing this because I love you and because you asked."

" we need to decorate our house for Halloween anyways, Zuko. That bat that's hanging up on the side does not cut it"

" Nanuq likes it" Zuko protested

" she's only three." Katara shakes his head " of course she likes it. Every time Suki brings her over she squeals about the bats and the spiders and asks us when Uncle Zu Zu and Aunt Kitty are gonna decorate "

" so you want to do this for her?"

" no. I want to do this because it's fun, and because Nanuq will like it"

Zuko chuckled " okay. " he agreed, tugging lightly on her arms, sighing as he felt her lean her cheek against the top of his head. " when do you want to go?"

" today? You don't have to go in to work later do you?"

" no, I'm off today "

" good" she grinned " my clinical exam isn't until after Halloween so I'm not missing out on anything, and I don't have class later"

" alright. Get off me so I can get ready" he playfully patted at her arms. Katara grinned in satisfaction and pulled away from him.

As soon as Zuko slid on a hoodie, Katara made a beeline to the door

" I love you"

" I love you too?" Zuko stared at her in confusion " what was that for?"

" I can't tell you that I love you?"

" you can, but it was sudden" He laughed and locked the door behind him.

" I'm trying to appreciate you. " Katara shrugged and walked to the car, waiting by the passengers side

" you don't need to"

" yes I do, Zuko. Seriously. I know you don't really like celebrating holidays much, but thank you for doing this for me"

" I like seeing you happy, how could I say no to you?" He grinned, unlocking the door.

Katara slid into the seat and closed the door behind her. " ew you're sappy"

" shut up" he joked, driving off towards the direction of the pumpkin patch.

Katara walked around the patch as she furrowed her brows in concentration, leaning down to touch every single pumpkin. Zuko was getting tired of waiting, but he found her to be endearing, especially since she was a perfectionist.

" we've been here for thirty minutes"

" stop judging me, I'm trying to find the perfect pumpkin"

" is there a difference... they all look the same?"

" yes there's a difference, now stop being a Jerk-o-lantern "

Zuko began to laugh, clutching his knees as he leaned over " spirits, Sokka really is rubbing off on you"

Katara glared, picking up a perfectly rounded pumpkin that wasn't too big and wasn't too small. " no. You're being a jerk. You had to hear it from your significant other"

" that's cute, Katara. Is that the one you want?"

" yep. What about yours?"

Zuko looked around awkwardly then picked one up " here"

" Zuko it's deformed"

" so am I. Look it's got a weird patch. Like my scar"

" Zuko!" Katara gasped in shock, jamming her elbow in his ribcage " you can't say that!"

" what, so Toph can make fun of her disability but I can't make fun of mine?"

" yeah, but you do yours in self deprecating fashion"

" that's just my humour. I love dark jokes.. one could say.. I'm hollow inside" he smirked

" hah. Okay. Got me there, Zuko. " she rolled her eyes then smiled at him " come on and let's pay for these" she began to waddle awkwardly towards the register to pay.

" wow. You're jacked" Zuko commented as he watched her walk to the tent where the cashier sat.

Katara would've facepalmed if she wasn't holding a pumpkin. " I can't believe you said Sokka was rubbing off on ME!"

Zuko chuckled and pulled out his wallet, handing the cashier a 20 dollar bill. " I do it because it's funny"

" come on, my joke was funnier" Katara complained as she followed Zuko back to their car

" I'll ask Sokka "

" don't ask Sokka. He thinks everything is funny"

" how about Suki?"

" nah. Biased. She's my bestie"

" how is Sokka not biased then? He's your brother"

Katara shrugged and placed the pumpkin on the floorboard. " he's definitely more biased, but if we both tell him our pumpkin jokes he'll laugh at them all no matter what"

" okay then we ask Nanuq"

" no"

" why?"

" she's THREE, Zuko. "

" Aang then?"

" he's away, remember? He promised his uncle Gyatso he would help with some stuff at the Zoo"

" right.. okay, Toph?"

" no go. She's away on business, remember?"

" Beifong shit?"

" yep. Boring beneficiary stuff. She snap chatted me a two minute video of her picking toe jam out of her toes instead of listening to the actual meeting"

" that's charming"

" it's Toph."

Zuko grinned he plopped his pumpkin down beside Katara's carefully. " that is typical Toph fashion."

Katara hummed in response and got in the car, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. " Suki is coming over"

" why?"

" the kid woke up and said she wanted to see Aunt Kitty and uncle Zu Zu today"

" Agni, I love that little munchkin. I'm clearly the favourite uncle"

" you're the only uncle"

" right. So what's the plan then?"

" we're gonna go home and carve pumpkins "

" I meant design wise?"

" I'm just gonna do a face..?"

" What kind of face?"

" maybe a vampire face?"

" that sucks" Zuko replies.

Katara smacked his arm and sighed " you're awful. I can't believe that I started a Halloween pun war with you!"

Zuko chuckled and drove the rest of the way home in silence.

" Hey Kat, how would you feel about one of those?"

" what are you talking about? One of What"

Zuko motioned to Nanuq who was playing With some toy blocks on the carpet in front of their TV.

" a baby?" She narrowed her eyes.

Zuko nodded. " yeah. A baby, one of our babies.. "

Katara smiled fondly, leaning into Zuko. " I would love a child of our own" she said softly

" yuck! You just wipes your Slimy pumpkin hands on me!"

" hey. You said you're ready for a child, you better be prepared to get other things wiped all over you" she grinned, shoving her hand in the pumpkin guts before turning and smearing them all over Zuko's face.

Zuko groans and spat out a pumpkin seed which hit Katara in the cheek. " that's so nasty"

" shut up and help me clean the rest of this pumpkin out"

Zuko scrunched his nose up and began to delve in his own pumpkin, cringing.

" hot pants can't deal with it?"

" don't call me that. I just don't like the feeling. It's.. squishy"

" fine you big baby. Go away and I'll get the little squirt to help"

Zuko stuck his tongue out at her and walked towards the sink to clean his hands off while Katara walked towards the living room to gather her niece

Katara and Nanuq sat at the table and continued to gut the pumpkins. Zuko over watched as the pair worked to clean every remaining string of pumpkin gut and seed from the fruit.

" what you make, uncwle Zuzu?" The toddler asked, grinning at Zuko.

" I think I'm gonna make mine a face. How about that?"

Nanuq placed her hand on her chin as if she was contemplating. " how bout a scawy ghost?"

" a scary ghost?"

" yeah! They say ' Boooo." she giggled.

Zuko laughed as well and picked her up, placing her on his hip. " that sounds good. You gotta stay out while we're carving though. You know why?"

" Sharp!"

" that's right. Knives are sharp"

Nanuq smiled and shoved her thumb in her mouth before nuzzling her snotty nose into Zuko's neck. " o'tay " she agreed.

" still want a kid?" Katara asked, looking up from her work "

Zuko nodded. " I still want a kid, Katara. Do you want one?"

" yeah. I still want one. " she nodded. " she is ridiculously cute.."

" ours would be cute too."

Suki entered the kitchen, shoving bits of candy bar in her mouth before her daughter could see her. Suki would just blame it on pregnancy cravings since she was entering her fourth month of pregnancy with her second child. She laughed a bit. " good, she'll have someone to play with." She held her arms out and Zuko passed the child over to her mother.

" I get baby to pway wif?"

" you gotta ask Aunt Kitty."

Nanuq turned to look at Katara and pouted, her blue eyes wide with excitement. " pweese a baby?"

Katara smiled. " yeah, alright. "

Zuko turned to Nanuq and held his fist out. Nanuq first-bumped him and giggled. " memba I want a scawy ghost" she motioned to Zuko's uncarved pumpkin

" got it, missy."

Suki chuckled and shakes her head again. " thank you for keeping her company. You know how excited she gets "

" of course, Suki. We love having you over. You're family " Katara dismissed her with a wave of her hand.

Zuko finished carving his pumpkin after a while, then turned it around " is this satisfactory, ma'am?"

Nanuq nodded, shaking her little auburn pigtails in the process. " yep! It scawy"

" wanna help me put the candle in it?"

She looked at her mother for permission. Suki nodded and waved her hand " go ahead, it's not like it'll be lit."

Zuko handed her the tea-light candle " okay. Come here" he picked her up, placing her on his lap as he took the top of the pumpkin off. " place it in the middle so at night we can light it and it'll scare away the monsters" he growled, lightly tickling her sides.

She giggled and placed the candle directly in the middle of the pumpkin and sat back against Zuko. " it good. We put it out now?"

" you wanna put them out now?"

" yep!" She began to bounce on his thighs.

Zuko picked her up again and placed her on the floor. " okay. You go grab your mom and Auntie Kitty and we'll put them on the steps okay?"

She nodded and ran off into the living room " MOMMY! AUNTIE KITTY! "

Suki and Katara looked up from their respective cups of tea

" what is it baby? Did uncle Zu Zu get hurt?"

Nanuq giggled. " no! He said it time to put it out" she motioned to the front door and then back at the kitchen where Zuko was.

" oh. Okay" Suki smiled.

Katara stood up and grabbed onto Suki's forearm, helping her off of the sofa gently.

Zuko walked outside, placing his pumpkin down on the steps and then moved out of the way so Katara could place hers beside his. He lit the candles and stepped back, placing his hand at the small of Katara's back, watching her face light up with happiness.

" satisfied?"

" more than satisfied. It looks great. " she grinned, standing on her toes and planting a firm kiss to his lips

" YUCKY!" Nanuq interrupted, frowning at the two

Suki, Zuko and Katara burst out laughing.


End file.
